walter “wally” kendall
it’s now been over 2 weeks since my father passed away in a tragic swimming accident. my parents were on vacation in the dominican republic. early in the morning they were in the water and got pulled out too far by a rip current. my mom wasn’t out as far and fought her way back in, but my father was unable to make it back in. he was bravely pulled into shore by a passing kayaker but dad had taken in too much water at that point. my mom was very strong in taking care of getting my father home in the following days along with great help from the hotel and travel companies.
all of my mother and father’s siblings flew in for the funeral so we had great family support. i can’t thank them enough, along with so many friends of my parents - amazing what they did for us. also, my friends have been amazing offering support every step of the way, as well as attending the wake and funeral. i’m lucky to have such great friends. i also met at least 300 people who came to the wake and funeral to show their condolences for my father. i never knew how many lives he touched until it was too late. since my father was in the military, we grew up all over Canada and we met many people across the country. and a lot of the country was in contact with us. as well as so many people in our home city. my dad always said hi to anyone he met and would joke with anyone he could. i think it’s the eastern canadian “down-east” influence. i remember as a kid walking down the street in north sydney, nova scotia and my father would say “hi, how ya doing today?” to complete strangers. i always found it strange, but it’s the down-east hospitality… nobody is a stranger and everybody is a friend. and he carried that hospitality and charm with him wherever he went. i think that’s why so many people liked him so much.
the funeral was very sad, but it was also great to see the turnout. we knew there would be a lot of people attending, but were overwhelmed by the numbers that turned out. the very large church was packed and people even had to stand in the aisles. since my dad was an instructor in the military, they shut down the school for the morning and bused all the students in to attend. seeing row after row of military there for him was a great honour.
it’s been a hard struggle every day. i wouldn’t say each day is easier or harder…they’re just different. some days are hard in one way and the next day will be hard in a different way. focus and concentration are difficult. different thoughts or things you do each day trigger different memories. the last thoughts in my head at the end of the night and the first thoughts when i wake up in the morning are of my dad so it never goes away. in a way that is good because i don’t want to forget, yet sometimes you just want a break from the pain. i can only imagine how my mom feels. if i lost my wife after 32 years of marriage i don’t know how i could face each day. but she deals with each day as it comes. i’m very proud of her.
when i think of how hard it is to cope with the loss of my father and why it happened to him, i think of a story my dad’s best friend told me recently. my father was diagnosed with parkinson’s disease almost 10 years ago but still remained very active and thankfully still didn’t have a lot of the problems associated with the disease. but at no point did my dad get down on himself, nor get depressed and say “why me?” he simply said “this is what i’ve been given, this is my fate and i’m going to deal with it”. so i know that he would expect me to be the same way about his passing. this is my fate and i’m just going to have to deal with it and move forward in my life. slowly and sadly.
February 16th, 2006 at 1:27 am
Blaine,
I’m just passing by to grab the Rails cheatsheet you made last year and I saw this post. Sorry about the loss of your father. I hope that you and your family are well and keep your head up!
Best Regards,
Tracey
February 16th, 2006 at 8:05 pm
Hey Blaine,
Just your cousin here. I just wanted to let you know that I have been thinking about you guys a lot. O love what you wrote about your Dad. Bang on. I loved him a lot.
Love ya,
Heather
February 16th, 2006 at 10:20 pm
Blaine,
Like the first poster, I found my way here by way of your Ruby on Rails cheatsheet and spent the next 15 minutes taking in the events of the most recent posts.
I am so very sorry for your incredible loss. Nothing anyone can say will do anything to make that intense pain go away, except time. Your father sounded like quite a guy and be thankful that you had him in your life for as long as you did and take what he’s given you and find stregnth to move your life forward when the time is right.
God bless you and your family.
Jeff Powell
February 23rd, 2006 at 8:20 am
Blaine, I am very, very, very sorry for your loss. I hope that each passing day you are able to find some comfort. Take care of yourself.
February 23rd, 2006 at 11:17 pm
Hi Blaine,
It’s your cousin from down East, Paula. I wanted to write to let you know I’ve been thinking of you, Jillian and your mom over the last while. The photo you posted of your Dad captures his personality well. I always remember him to be one who enjoyed a good laugh. May those & many more memories comfort you.
You’re all in our thoughts and prayers. Take care of each other.
Paula & Trevor
February 25th, 2006 at 7:44 pm
Dear Blaine,
You have such a wonderful memory of your Dad. I know that all those wonderful days shared with him will bring comfort to you. We all would like to have had more time to spend with him, but those moments that we did share are the ones we cherish now and delight in the fact that we knew a wonderful, kind and fun-loving man. Take care of yourself. We are only a phone call away. You, Jillian and your Mom are always in our prayers.
God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
Love,
Aunt Barbara
February 25th, 2006 at 10:51 pm
Hello Blaine,
It’s a heavy time for you I know, so sorry.
I, too, lost my father recently.. last summer, and though all too expected, it’s not easy all the same . We had a somewhat tumultuous history between us, but the last few weeks were truly a blessing. The closure was simply miraculous. I felt his arms still around me for weeks after he was gone.
Even though your dad isn’t able to answer you in person now, talk to him anyway. You just may find he’s with you still, more tangibly than you could have ever imagined.. guiding you, encouraging you, inspiring you the same as he always did.
Take care~
Pacem,
AnMarie
March 28th, 2006 at 11:50 pm
Blaine -
I was very sorry to read about your loss. Words fail to describe or even adequately express my sympathies. I didn’t know your father but my thoughts are with you and your family.
Jay
September 10th, 2006 at 8:28 am
Our belated and heartfelt condolences for you, your sister and your Mom (Pam)….. Gloria and I just received the letter and card from your mother telling us the tragedy.
I’m not sure if you would remember us or not…I was the Base Chief Warrant Officer in Sydney while Wally and Pam were posted there. I remember Wally from so many different facets of life….the Search and Rescue team he was always so proud to head up…the fishing and hunting expeditions…your Dad really did enjoy the outdoors, hia participation in the Auxillary Fire Fighters as well as all the local sports such as curling.
I remember your father as just that…a father first, then a military soldier..always willing to accept a challenge and never being afraid to volunteer for any task at hand.
I also remember the other side of your fasther..the fun side…. whether it was sitting along the little beach at Dominion, sitting in the curling club or out at the Search and Rescue cabin on the Bra D”Or Lakes….he was always funloving and competative..but always fair….
Your father has 4 loves in the world…..first..his kids, then Pam…and let’s not forget..while you kids were growing up…WWF wrestling……
It is with great sorrow we bid farewell to Wally……best wishes to you and your family…..
Lyle and Gloria (Lauri and Kal) Yolkowski……..
PS:
If your Mom has an Email address, it would be very much appreciated if you could provide us with that information.
January 22nd, 2007 at 10:33 pm
[...] i’m hoping for good things in my life this year. 2006 was very shitty, so i want to put that year behind me. i’m hoping for great things for 2007. [...]
January 25th, 2007 at 11:30 am
[...] it was one year ago today that my father had his accident while on vacation in the dominican republic. i looked back at my work notebook from that day. the morning started off very normal. a list of work items, things I needed to do during the day, notes from meetings. then nothing else on the page. [...]
November 24th, 2007 at 3:35 pm
Blaine,
Yes, it is true…My name actually is Walter Kendall and everyone calls me Wally.
I was doing a search on my name and came across your page.
Ironically,about 15 years ago, I was able to save a man from drowning.
I pray that God comforts you and your family.
Peace,
Walter(Wally)Kendall,Jr
Gaston,South Carolina - United States
November 24th, 2007 at 3:36 pm
Blaine,
Yes, it is true…My name actually is Walter Kendall and everyone calls me Wally.
I was doing a search on my name and came across your page.
Ironically,about 15 years ago, I was able to save a man from drowning.
I pray that God comforts you and your family.
Peace,
Walter(Wally)Kendall,Jr
Gaston,South Carolina - United States
email…dreamerk66@yahoo.com